Envisioning

Marc and I had a dinner conversation a few nights ago—yes, with candlelight and a glass of wine.  We came to the conclusion that we both kind of bumbled through our lives, but eventually found our way.  We decided a lot of people are probably like that…not knowing where they are going to wind up, but hoping they are “directionally correct” with a few meanderings along the way.  And then there are those remarkable few who can envision what they want to change in the world, and they draw a straight path towards that.  Greta Thunberg, the Swedish environmental activist, or Malala, the women’s rights activist, come to mind. 

After we talked, I started to think that perhaps I have been bumbling around with my weight.  The fact of the matter is, the thirteen-pound weight gain has been stretched out over the last two years.  I’ve tried to cut back before.  I would lose a couple pounds, but then it would creep up again.  Definitely some bumbling going on there!

I think that happened because I felt comfortable after I lost a couple pounds and took my eye off the goal.  If I had been at a certain weight for a time and gained a couple pounds, getting to that prior weight felt like a baseline for me—even though I was ignoring the fact that my baseline was slowly changing.  It was feeling my clothes getting tight and knowing my BMI was at the top of the normal weight range that set the alarm bells ringing.

What I did at that point, though, is what I believe is most important.  I made getting back to my goal weight a priority.  I envisioned the goal in front of me and a straight path towards achieving it.  No stops along the way, no meandering.  No early pats on the back, no pausing to consider that my clothes are already a bit looser three pounds down.  Instead, I focus on how much more I have to lose and what I have to do to lose it.

Photo by Luis Fernandes on Pexels.com

I also spread the word about my weight gain to my friends and my family—and to my doctor.  Contacting him and asking if I could go back on Contrave was very difficult.  I imagined he would have to “unretire” my diagnosis of morbid obesity.  Or worse, that he wouldn’t prescribe it because I only had a little weight to lose and thus didn’t meet the criteria for the drug.

I’m telling you I’m taking Contrave because I know some people consider that a cheat.  I have had many people ask me how I lost so much weight and the minute I tell them I took medicine to help me, I can tell a lot of them have blocked everything else I’ve said.  The other work I did wasn’t important because it was the medicine that really did the job.

Let me ask you: if I have that strong vision in my head to get to my goal weight, why shouldn’t I use every tool in my arsenal to do so?  Talking about it is a tool, working out is a tool, and taking medicine is too.  I should add that this tool got pretty pricey.  My insurance no longer covers it, so it is a significant cost.   The discount offered by the pharma company doesn’t work if you are either on government insurance (Medicare or Medicaid) or have no private insurance picking up any of the cost.  I think it says something about my Marc that when I told him about the insurance, he didn’t hesitate to tell me to go ahead with it.  Without realizing it, I have another tool now:  not wanting to have to pay so much every month.

So, instead of having a War on Terrorism, or a War on Drugs, this is my War on Weight…or WOW for short!

And I am no longer bumbling around. Gotta go–I’ve got work to do!

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